Am I a Douche Bag?

So here I am, innocently thinking how easy it should be for me to become a social media expert. I've been a techie before most of these Twitterers were even born. I'll just start blogging and Tweeting and throwing virtual snowballs at people and soon I'll be a social media sensation. Right? WRONG! OMG! (By the way, I have mixed feelings about the use of the OMG acronym. I should probably check to see if using that term labels me as a newbie (or noob?) or the cyber-equivalent of a clueless Valley Girl before I highlight or even attempt the use of such acronyms.)


Oh yes... to continue with my OMG thought... There is no way I am going to become an overnight social media expert. There are like a bazillion of them out there. I'm thinking maybe I can be a "social media for people that really don't care but have a mild sense of panic that they're missing the boat and will be thought of as old if they don't at least figure out what Twitter is all about" expert. Yes, I'll be an expert for those that don't give a Twit. I don't think there are many of those experts out there yet.

With that in mind, I have been learning an awful lot about Twitter lately, including the seemingly endless number of free utilities that will tell you everything that you wanted to learn about Tweeple and Tweetups and Twittering. One of the first Twitter apps that I tried out (before I even knew about the list) was TweetSum. This tool supposedly tells you how much of a Douche Bag you are with your Tweets, giving you a DBI (Douche Bag Index.) The lower your index the better. It gives you the DBI of your Twitter associates as well... those you follow and those who follow you. My DBI was around 35. Seeing that many others had a "perfect" 0.0 DBI, due to my competitive nature (and the fact that I really did not want to be thought of as a Douche Bag), I was determined to lower my score immediately! How in the world would anyone trust that I was any kind of Twitter expert if my DBI was 35? I quickly read TweetSum's FAQs with the hopes of learning the algorithm which TweetSum uses. The FAQ was vague claiming the DBI was related to your tweets, your followers, those you follow and your profile.

Well, I quickly found some of the big wigs at Mashable that know their way around in the social media world and started following them. This had been my plan all along, but I'd been hoping to wait until I was more of an expert myself before following the big guys. But WTH (that's What the Heck for those of us that are uncomfortable with the WTF acronym.)

The next day I checked my DBI and it had gone down to 16 point something. And guess what? Ben Parr, a guy who REALLY is a Social Media Expert has a DBI of 30 something! On top of that, some of these spammers that follow me have a DBI of 0.0! I may be new to all this, but even I know that clearly something is not right with TweetSum's DBI calculator when someone with no profile and one tweet that directs you to a "buy my product" site is getting a perfect DBI!

So, though I'm far from expert, I am recommending that all of you Twitterers out there find another tool other than TweetSum to find out how much of a Twitter Douche Bag you or your Tweeple are. I know there are other tools that will tell you and once I check 'em out, I'll give you my less-than-expert review.

Oh, by the way. I'm still not sure about all the rules concerning photos in blogs. I know the blog experts tell ya always include a photo with your post, but I don't know what's allowed from a copyright perspective. I got this photo from this guy's blog and since there's nothing about "don't copy" I'm counting on the photo being fair game. I think the guy in the photo's pretty cute, even if he is supposed to be a Douche Bag. I guess if I'm a Douche Bag at least I'll be in good company!